And then…. there was tinder.

So this Tinder app….. why do we do this to ourselves?

For those of you who don’t know what Tinder is, allow me to explain.  Tinder is an app you can download to your smart phone.  When you open it up, it asks you for your age and to add a few photos of yourself.  You have the option to write a sentence or two underneath your pictures but most do not.  You then go to the main screen where peoples faces start popping up. Tinder provides you pictures of others (men or women, whatever you choose) in a certain mile radius and you must decide if you are interested in them.  Swiping one way means NO.  Swiping the other way means YES.  If both you and another person swipe YES, you are able to start messaging back and forth on said app.  

Now, it’s not that I don’t see the point.  For those out there that are not looking for a relationship, Tinder is great.  I assure you that if you are looking for a quick hookup, Tinder allows you to do so without even leaving the house…well I suppose one of you would have to…  But for those of us looking for something other than a one night stand, Tinder is a colossal waste of time.  This is not an opinion, this is my experience.  I tried Tinder for about 2 weeks just to see what all the hype was about.  I swiped yes to a lot of men.  I even messaged with many of these men.  I admit, it was a little exciting every time Tinder through a little party on my phone that read “you have a new match.”   On the whole, I think I spoke to about 20 men.  Out of those men, 11 asked for naked pictures of me, three asked me to talk dirty to them, three asked how much money I made and then stopped talking to me and two asked me if I was interested in having a three-some…. I wonder if they knew each other….?  One turned out to be an okay guy, didn’t go anywhere but at least he didn’t fall into any of the categories I just mentioned.  One… in twenty.  Not terrible, but not great odds.

I do think it is funny.  How many people do you know that SWEAR it is the personality that matters the most?  I am sure I have said that at some point…”looks aren’t important, it is what’s on the inside that matters!”  Well folks, that’s bull.  If that was the truth, apps like Tinder would not have so many participants.  Don’t get me wrong, at the end of the day what is on the inside DOES matter the most.  However, if you are not attracted to the other person, it’s not going anywhere.  In my opinion, the attraction gets things going, but the heart and soul are what keep it going; both are important.

The problem with apps like Tinder and other online dating tools is that you are seeing the best of the person, not the whole person.  I know that when I made my online dating profile, I picked the absolute best pictures of me and wrote only the good things in the “about me” section.  When asked about pets, instead of putting that cats scare the crap out of me and I have never really been a dog person, I just didn’t put anything at all in that section.  Instead of admitting that although I have a job I love, my salary is less than impressive, I too left that blank.  I think it is normal to want to paint yourself in the best light possible on any of these dating sites, but unfortunately, you cannot hide the bad stuff forever– not even the bad stuff…. just the REAL stuff.  At some point, I hope I will reach a point where I put the picture up of me with no makeup and my crazy curly hair instead of the one with my perfectly overdone makeup and time consumingly- blow-dried hair.  At some point…. like in 60 years.

Until next time,

Sara

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