As I think many of you will agree, online dating sucks. But the reality is, there just aren’t a lot of good ways to meet people, so a few years ago, my love/hate relationship with online dating began. I admit, I have tried a variety of websites… probably MOST of them. As a nice Jewish girl…. well… a Jewish girl… I decided to start with Jdate. For those of you who don’t know, this is a dating website for Jews to meet, chat, and immediately start repopulating the earth with Jewish babies. All Jews must use this website for a minimum of three months to please their mothers, and then they can move on to other sites.
I admit, I was a little disappointed when I first joined the site to find that there was not a very large selection. However, there were a handful of prospects, so, like any good Jewish girl… I got cooking. The thing about Jdate, is that when you grow up in a fairly small community, like I did, and then start dating as an adult in this community, pretty much everyone you date knows someone you know. Jews call it “Jewish geography” but I am guessing this is not unique to us…
So I meet this guy, we will call him Moses (I know, clever). Immediately I think to myself, Moses is about my age…. he grew up in this area…. someone must know him. I mention him to a few close friends and sure enough, one of my best friends says “Sara, I know him, do not date him.”
When one of your best friends says “Sara, I know him, do not date him” ……. you should probably listen.
But no, “I have to give him a chance,” says Sara… “He’s probably grown a lot since you knew him,” says Sara… “I bet you are thinking of someone else,” says Sara.
“No Sara, I am not, do not date him,” says friend.
But of course, I insist on going on this one date. I usually make it a point to talk with someone on the phone before going out with them. I like to hear what their voice sounds like, figure out if they can carry on a conversation… you know, begin the judgement process right off the bat (sad but true… we all do it). My first sign that perhaps my friend was right should have been when during the second phone conversation, before the first date ever occurred, Moses said to me “would you like to go to a concert with me in October?” Did I mention this phone conversation occurred in May? My response was “how about we see how dinner goes first…..”
Still, I had to go on this date.
I get to the restaurant and Moses meets me outside and promptly pummels me with a hug. Now listen, I am a very warm, touchy-feely, hug you all day long kind of person. But this hug felt like I was being run over by a bear and all I could think was, “I think I am supposed to act really big and scary so he will run away.” Isn’t that what you are supposed to do if you encounter a bear? But I digress….
During the course of dinner, somehow the following conversation occurs:
Moses: Do you think the man should always pay?
Sara: No, I think it’s nice when the man offers to pay on the first date, but in general I think both parties should offer to pay.
Sara: (uh oh)
Moses: You know what really turns me on?
Sara: (Do I have my pepper spray?) Uh…… no?
Moses: Well… like… let’s say me and a girl… we are at the movies… and the girl… she steps in front of me and throws her money down on the counter for the tickets and says “I got this.” That is such a turn on.
Sara: (oh shit) Okay….
Moses: Yeah… if that happened, I would be like, baby… let’s find a bathroom.
Sara: (I definitely do not have my pepper spray)
Moses: Ya know what I mean?
Sara: (NO?!?!) Uh… sure.
Needless to say, I was not giving this guy a chance, he had not changed since my friend new him, and he was exactly who my friend was thinking of.
Oh well…. thanks for the memories Jdate.